How to talk to your daughter about her body, step one: Don't talk to your daughter about her body, except to teach her how it works. Don't say anything if she's lost weight. Don't say anything if she's gained weight.
If you think your daughter's body looks amazing, don't say that. Here are some things you can say instead: "You look so healthy!" is a great one. Or how about "You're looking so strong." "I can see how happy you are - you're glowing."
Better yet, compliment her on something that has nothing to do with her body. Don't compliment on other women's bodies either. Nope. Not a single comment, not a nice one or a mean one.
Teach her about kindness towards others, but also kindness towards yourself.
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Remind your daughter that the best thing she can do with her body is to use it to mobilize her beautiful soul.
From "Love What Matters" on Facebook
So here's the deal. I get what the point of the post is - something to the effect of "you are not defined by your body, you are lovable just the way you are, don't pass on the problems you have with your own body to your daughter, live a balanced life, etc." And it's not that this is bad... but right from the beginning, it's already saying that anything you can say about the body is negative. It's fighting the societal norm of over-valuing the body to the point of under-valuing the soul by reversing it. "Don't talk to your daughter about her body." Don't say that the princess dress she is wearing makes her look pretty, don't say that she's lucky to be tall enough to ride Space Mountain, and don't say that her dimples are so cute they make you want to smile.
But wait... Aren't those good things? In fact, our bodies are supposed to be good, right? We've all heard it a billion times before, that God looked upon everything He made, including man and woman, and said it was very good. It says it right there in Genesis 1:27, that:
"God created mankind in His image; in the image of God He created them, male and female He created them."
Why are we so quick to throw the baby out with the bathwater? Just because we're in a twisted world that has taken our clean, beautiful sheets of paper and wrinkled them up to make them look like trash, that doesn't mean we should throw them away as if they are bad mistakes. As Christopher West says, we are called to unfold the paper. The paper is a gift and has a wonderful message inscribed on it that the whole world is meant to see. Instead of tossing our bodies aside as being less important, let's take our bodies and the desires that come with them and bring them to God so that He can unfurl the creases and restore us to our original beauty. We are human beings. We aren't simply souls that have a body while we're on earth, we are both body AND soul. Let's not limit how God can speak through both parts of our nature.
2 of the best compliments I've ever been lucky enough to receive encapsulate this for me. One was from a friend in my college campus ministry who said "Katie, you have the prettiest smile." The second was from a music minister after I played and sung during adoration who said "you are a gift to the Church." One spoke to outward features of which I have very little control, and one spoke to inward talents of which I have a significant amount of control - but both spoke to my entire being, both body and soul. And both helped me see myself as a daughter of God. If we're going to change the kind of compliments we give, let's focus them less on what we are and more on whose we are. Let beauty shine forth from our bodies and our souls so that we become the like the moon, reflecting the beautiful light of the Son back onto the Earth. Your body is a gift, just like His body was, is, and will always be a gift. Help everyone else see them for what they are - an image of God.
