Without further ado, here are 7 dos (and their corresponding don'ts) for those entering college in the fall:
1. Try New Things - But Don't Try Everything. When I asked my Facebook friends for their thoughts on tips for college freshmen, this was the #1 piece of advice I heard. College is the perfect time to join that swing dance club, take that random class on romantic literature from the 1800s, and try Thai food for the first time. Don't be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and try something new! There's so much to learn (both with school subjects and in living life), and college provides the perfect atmosphere to meet people you otherwise wouldn't have met and and do things that you wouldn't otherwise have done. That being said, don't go overboard. Stay true to yourself! If your friend wants to go to a frat party but you aren't interested in sticky floors, awkward dancing, and underage drunk people, then don't go. (Throw a board game night instead - I promise, you're not the only one who wants a night in!) Just because you should try new things doesn't mean everything you do needs to be new - make sure to still sign up for your campus ministry, and take math classes because you're good at them! And that class called "Argumentation" that will fulfill your 2nd writing requirement? I know it sounds interesting, but read the reviews about it - it's not worth the energy.
2. Make Lots of Friends - But Don't "Friend" Everyone. If college orientation is anything like it was 9 years ago, everyone will be in friend mode. People will have 1 minute of conversation with you and will immediately want all of your contact info, including your last name so they can find you on Facebook/Instagram/Snapchat. This isn't a bad thing, but let's be honest - it's very unlikely that the people you meet at orientation are going to be your best friend when school actually starts. So meet new people and be friendly, but don't rely on them to be your entire social group once school actually starts. So how do you meet your new friends? Unless you were a military kid like me or otherwise moved around a lot, this very well could be a new concept for you - but you can do it! Talk to the people you end up sitting next to in class, go to a party that's hosted by a club you're in, and set up lunch in between classes with some of your hallmates/suitemates. You don't know who will be in your graduation photos with you, but you will find them!
3. Put God First - But Don't Use Him as an Excuse. I know, this should be #1, but 3 is the divine number, so there you go. (Again, going back to the Revelation Bible Study...) But seriously, make God your priority! There's a lot going on at college, and you will most likely find yourself even busier than you were in high school - but remember, your ultimate life goal is not graduating or getting a good job, it's getting to heaven to be with your Creator! Set yourself up for success by picking a weekend Mass to go to and going to a couple of your Catholic campus ministry's kick-off events. By surrounding yourself with people who are focused on the same goal as you, you'll find it easier to center your life around Christ. That being said, don't use your faith as an excuse to not interact with people who have different viewpoints or discount them as not being worth your time. That kind of attitude goes completely against our mission of evangelization (sharing the Gospel with all nations) as Catholics! When you're strong in your own faith, that's a great time to interact with with people of different religions and belief systems because you can learn from each other without giving up your own identity. You never know - the conversation you have with a Buddhist about meditation might make you appreciate the great mystics of the Church more!
4. Be Nervous, Excited, Exuberant, Homesick, Happy - But Don't Get Caught Up in "All the Feels". You are going to have (and I'm sure already have) a ton of emotions about college. You're leaving home, you're leaving your family, your friends are going to be spread across the country - you have every right to feel scared and have a pit in your stomach! At the same time, you're excited about all the new possibilities, starting fresh and rediscovering who you are. Between sappy graduation parties, prom dates, college orientations, senior trips, and everything else, you are on an emotional roller coaster that won't likely be matched until your graduate college in a few years. Revel in the emotions as you feel them, but don't get caught up in them to the point where you can't see anything else. Just because you're sad about leaving your friends from home doesn't mean you need to put 25 instagram pictures up a day that document every fun moment you've had with them - I promise, they will feel your love without being constantly tagged and liked. And when you're asked about where you decided to go (which will happen at least once a day for the entire summer), don't explode on the poor person with how you're so nervous you might cry but so happy that you finally know what you're doing with your future but so overwhelmed with your finals but so filled with senioritis that you don't really care how you do on them... Let yourself breathe! If you're feeling nervous all the time (whether in the summer or when you actually get to college), talk to a parent or another trusted adult about it - don't forget your family and your support system at home! If you're feeling sentimental, get your friends together to go to Maymont for a photo shoot. Don't get so caught up in your emotions that you forget to live.
5. Take Pictures - But Not of Everything. Seriously, take pictures, especially during your first year of college! Your freshman year will be different from the other three for lots of reasons, and you will want to remember it, from band camp to roommate bonding to campus ministry ice cream socials. However, DON'T TAKE PICTURES OF EVERYTHING. Don't be that girl/boy who posts a picture every day of their food in the dining hall just so that people can like it and make them feel important. You are important, but the special of the day isn't (especially since it's probably just transformed leftovers from yesterday's dinner). When you go with your roommate to get her first tattoo, take pictures of the experience - but don't take selfies with her every day just to prove you're alive. What will you actually want to remember in 10 years? What will your future kids want to see, and what would be okay for your future employer to find? (Though if it's not okay for an employer to see, you should probably think twice about doing it...)
6. Let the Plan Change - But Don't Change the Plan Without a Reason. When you go to college, you have a plan of what your life will be like. You know which dorm you want to live in, what kind of roommate you want, which clubs you're going to join, what you're going to major in, what you want as your double-major, etc. But college is another part of life - and life is full of surprises. I went to UVA thinking I was going to major in statistics, do marching band for all 4 years, and sing at the 11:30am Mass every Sunday (because I hated going to Mass at night). Between 2006 and 2010, I went from a statistics major to a statistics major astronomy minor to a statistics-psychology double major to a statistics-music double major to a music major with an almost minor in math, psychology, and astronomy. When I finally got to be a drill instructor in marching band my fourth year, I had to step out, and my weekly Mass changed to the 5:15pm Life Teen Mass when I switched to the Life Teen band at the end of my second year. Things change! But I didn't make those changes on a whim, and I wouldn't be where I am today if each and every one of those things hadn't happened. (I very much believe that God has led me here, and I'm very happy with my life!) Make sure that when things change, you know why they're changing. And pray about it! Don't drop out of the intramural softball team just because your friend is, and don't drop your engineering major just because dynamics is hard. Allow things to change, but be intentional, thoughtful, and prayerful when making those changes, and talk to students who are a year or more ahead of you as well as your college advisor to get a balanced opinion.
7. Have the Best Time of Your Life - But Don't Think It's the Only One. College will be an amazing time of your life if you let it! The classes you take will be more interesting than the ones you took in high school, the clubs/sports/ministries you join will help you find out what you're passionate about, and the friends you make could very well be the ones who stand at your side when you get married. There will be a ton of memories made that will make great stories at high school reunions, family gatherings, and within scrapbooks. But don't let it overshadow all the great things that have already happened in your life! The Steubenville Conference you went to in high school still has a lasting impact on your life, the friends you went to prom with should still matter to you, and the family vacation you took when you were 13 is still a great story to tell at parties! Plus, you graduate college when you're 22 (or so). It's not like your life will be all downhill from there, I promise! College was great, but life as a 27 year old is pretty fantastic, too (it's the first time I was ever blindfolded, crowned, and bequeathed with a cape on my birthday!).
This is definitely not an exhaustive list, but it's a good start. And when you're not sure about something when you get there in the fall, remember what Jesus said: "Be not afraid!" Listen to your gut, remember who you are, and you will have a great time.
